When you’ve been told your in the early stages of your life constantly that you are not good enough, you’d tend to believe it. Who loves and who does is just not clear. 

Is right to say that being loved means you’re being told your not good enough. And when people actually praise you that they are just lying. Unfortunately I was brought up with this mentality. 

I will never be good enough so don’t fight for it… Don’t fight because you’ll never win. 

You are too stupid, other children are better than you. To me, they are just better because they are loved. I will never let me children think that they’re not loved. I will never let they feel the way I feel or go through what I’ve gone through. 

I will let they feel wanted and loved for as long as I’m alive. So that unlike me, when good things happen will not find a excuse to believe it’s not true or it will not last. 

Does not help also when in a relationship, I always have to be the one to start something. I am just tired, if you love me why don’t you show it. I am confused, I am lost. Prove to me that I am worth it and that you care, or one day I shall disappear from your sight. And you will never find me again. Ever…..